Zoe, that has been unicorn hunted both offline as well as on dating apps (to your level she felt compelled to alter her username to Not different Unicorn), thinks that what sort of procedure plays away is virtually constantly harmful for the third—usually a bisexual girl. She claims her problem along with it is the fact that couples usually are deceitful inside their approach, and find yourself reinforcing oppressive structures such as for instance patriarchy and heteronormativity.
“we realize that typically guys use their girlfriends as bait, as an easy way of employing a female in order to make him—as a rather masculine man—less predatory or threatening, ” she says. Zoe happens to be “duped a number of times in exactly what is supposedly a queer room. ” She states that always a lady begins interacting along with her, and then—once plain things feel safe and flirty—present her male partner.
“we obviously have an issue because of the duplicitous approach that partners have actually, to maneuver beneath the radar in queer or modern sex areas, ” says Zoe—adding that she seems it “erases genuine girl-on-girl desire” insurance firms “women kind of orbiting male desire, only current to serve that male desire as well as the male look. “
Holly experienced this dynamic after matching with Clara, who had been in a guy. Her and Clara became close, also it was just after 2 yrs of dating and relationship me to fall asleep along with her boyfriend. That she”suddenly noticed that the program your whole time… was in order to get”
In Priya’s instance, initially she had been enthusiastic about having a threesome with all the couple whom sought her down online—but within the final end she discovered their approach disrespectful. While she was indeed enjoying getting to understand the girl over text, one time “the lady disappeared and instantly the person took over. ” Priya stated this felt “weird, ” like the woman to her connection ended up being insignificant.